I’ve been exploring some of my old work lately. I am resurrecting my blogging voice which I completely lost track of these last five years. Between having kids and surviving the pandemic, blogging fell off the plate and down onto the tile, into the grout.
I’m scraping it all out now. Part of that process is exploring some of my ancient pieces. I was really impressed with this one, but also, it was upsetting. I vaguely remember writing this nine years ago, and yet as a reader today, it resonates too well.
I find that I’m still in this space of being self-conscious about discussing women’s rights in class. In fact, I’m sorry to say that I may self-censor even more these days. Aside from how challenging it is to admit this, I find it even harder to reveal this other truth: this self-censorship has now drifted into even more spaces to avoid being perceived as too emotional, too Cuban, too invested–because this has happened, and I don’t want it to happen again.
The post speaks for itself (and in my gut I feel like I’m doing something wrong and damaging for my career reposting this, but my logical brain says, this is important, there’s nothing wrong, your voice matters—does it?)
AI writing tools like ChatGPT can pretty much answer anything in any way you want. They’re undoubtedly convenient, so they’re here to stay. AI is not necessary by any means, considering we did not have AI writers for all of time until relatively recently, but an AI tool can be useful during the brainstorming process. It is important to recognize that AI produced writing is not a reliable source. AI produced writing manufactures errors rampantly in the area of citations and resources (Rozear & Park). It is also at risk of yielding biased and incorrect information. When it comes to high stakes writing such as in a college level course, in the work place, in research spaces, in a publishing house, AI writing is not recommended as a resource; you are at risk of losing credibility.
All this having been said, AI produced writing is here to stay. So, while it’s not useful in terms of composing the whole project, it can be a nice place to go when you are hitting writer’s block very badly. WARNING: do not rely on the AI tool to compose your entire project. It is may unreliable (it might even give two people in the class the same argument, the same ideas, quotes etc. It may also oppress your authentic voice by integrating its tone and making design and word choices for you). In spite of all this danger, AI can be a nice starting point for idea creation.
You may ask the tool to offer more background information on the subject of your prompt (again, it is imperative you do not use any sources emitted from AI, they are usually very inaccurate. You must always do your own research). You could then ask it to regenerate response. Or you could respond to the AI’s response with a follow up question.
I started with a broad question “What are some of the least effective policies in public universities” to finally finding more of a focused area, “what is more affordable lecture-based teaching or student-centered learning.” And as you can see, you can have pretty bad grammar when prompting an AI language model. Going back to the use of conversation, with each new prompt and response generation, I was able to get closer and closer to a more sophisticated, narrowed topic. In fact, perhaps I am starting to understand why lecture-based teaching has been used for so long. I’m literally growing excited about researching my university’s policies on student engagement in the classroom. In your case, I also recommend taking notes while the responses are being generated. Take note of which points call to you. Are there any concepts that motivate you to look in any direction? Perhaps connections are being made while taking notes on the regenerations. Even better, you could branch out into a 10-minute free write after playing around with AI.
The most exciting and rewarding way to make the most of AI for brainstorming is to envision it as a competitor. I recommend sitting with the program and asking it point blank for ideas. Challenge yourself to create ideas that are not mentioned after a few regenerated responses. Since tools like ChatGPT rely on previously published content, if your idea is not regurgitated by the AI tool after a few tries, it’s more likely to be an original one.
My email box is bursting at the seams. I’m not behind on papers though, not too bad, since I’ve realized I’m most efficient when I grade no more than 2-3 papers at a time, even if it means marking two papers before yoga and two papers after yoga. Probably one of the most obvious signs of my ADHD that (luckily) is only visible to my students, is the never ending collection of documents and presentations they must sift through in order to find the reading due for next class. My Course Documents section on Blackboard is not unlike a never-ending Facebook page with items ranging from PowerPoints on Detailed Writing to psychology articles to poems to YouTube interviews. “You’ll find it in there somewhere,” I always say.
As a professor, these symptoms can be both a blessing and a challenge. While I’m easily distracted by shiny new projects, I can also be creative and like to join new teams. Being Diagnosed with Adult ADHD as a Professor
You mean to tell me there are others out there? Professors with ADHD? I don’t know how many exactly, since most of the web pages that come up when looking for stats on professors with ADHD are all about college students with ADHD and professors who don’t know how to teach them. Luckily, I found this quote from a Carleton University article as I was searching for a strong epigraph.
Let’s see…what else gives me away? 1. My fidgeting during meetings. 2. My inability to wear a blazer or a pencil skirt. I still rock my Vans, thank you. Why can’t athliesure wear be considered professional attire? 3. The fake smile I wear on the days I feel reeeeeally bored 4. My imposter syndrome. 5. The raucous music I listen to very loudly as I park my car amongst the students. 6. My own lectures bore me, even if my polite and non-neuro-divergent students assure that it was in fact very interesting and helpful. 7. My long uncut hippie hair. 8. My MFA. 9. My addiction to exercise. Must have more dopamine!
While I wear some red flags throughout my day to day, and I know my “intense, hyperfocused” energy can be a lot for my colleagues, students seem attracted to it like moths to the floodlight out back. Indeed, maybe we are “brilliant in lectures;” probably because we can’t bear to bore ourselves. I don’t eat lunch during my 4 class stretch, just coffee. “It’s an adventure to get through them all! It’s a workout. Must complete this mission,” I explain to my worried husband. He doesn’t understand that in order to get through 4 classes, they must be the most exciting classes ever, the freshest, most innovative, most engaging, the most exhausting! There’s no time to sit and eat.
Alas, I still have to rely PowerPoint for some things.
I do hit the neuro-typical marks though. I get high evaluation scores. Good feedback from the higher ups. I do my best to help my department’s sense of community. I turn in my paper work ahead of the deadlines. I have good manners. I try to go to events (probably I don’t do enough of this). Yet, I still feel that I don’t belong. Regardless of the fact that my therapist literally just said to me, “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing everything society wants you to do.” I am, aren’t I? I really am.
Then, why do I feel so isolated? Why do I feel like I’ve been carrying around this big dark hole of a secret in my chest for ten years? What if I just sent out an email to the department listserv disclosing my neurological difference? To whom could I disclose it too? Should I disclose it? Should academic institutions know when their faculty have learning disabilities? Does it matter. Should it? Why do I need to disclose this? Would this even help me?
I ask a million questions because I do think disclosure would be an asset to institutions and companies looking for fresh perspectives and (EXTREME!) creativity.
I know it helps my students to disclose. They are offered extra time and frankly, more grace. I don’t think I need more time, but maybe some grace?
Okay, fine, not grace, and frankly, I guess I really don’t need anything. Although maybe a resource or a sense of community for neuro-divergent educators would be the sugar that makes everything sweet. There’s got to be a place and a space for us somewhere in higher ed. Supposedly, ADHD is a superpower. Imagine if higher ed harnessed that power.
Feminine Rising: Voices of Power and Invisibility brings together international poets and essayists, both award winning and emergent, to answer these questions with raw, honest meditations that speak to women of all races, nationalities, and sexual orientations. It is an anthology of unforgettable stories both humorous and frightening, inspirational and sensual, employing traditional poetry and prose alongside exciting experimental forms. Feminine Rising celebrates women’s differences, while embracing the source of their sameness–the unique experience of womanhood.
My two poems, “DR: La Republica Dominicana” and “A Poem for the Waitresses on First Street” are featured in the book.
I’m so pleased to announce that three of my poems, “Slots,”“Scraping” and “Make a Decision” have been published in Barking Sycamores Literary Magazine Issue 13.
Barking Sycamores is dedicated to neurodivergent literature and its craft. I’m so honored to be a part of this project.
productiveprofessor 